Oct 19 2008
Coming Out of the Darkness
As someone who suffers with chronic pain, I know what it feels like to be surrounded by darkness and I don’t just mean that the lights are turned out! I am talking about the kind of darkness that is present if when the lights are on, a darkness in your heart, that hangs over you, sometimes haunting you. Another word that is often used for this darkness is depression, and it shouldn’t be taken “lightlty”. I think anyone who has dealt with chronic pain has probably also battled depression and knows too well what I am talking about. The horrible thing about depression is that it can lead to thoughts and behaviors that can have fatal results.
I know about the reality of these kinds of results all too well. My grandfather committed suicide in March of 1997. I attempted suicide soon after I received the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia in August of 2006. This word, suicide, almost stings when you say it. So I have decided that the prevention of it is a cause worth helping.
I have signed up for a walk to support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The walk is called AFSP’s 2008 Out of the Darkness Community Walk. I am really excited about having the chance to do something as simple as walking (but not really all that simple for some of us chronic pain sufferers) in an effort to support a great cause.
If you would like to check out my fundraising page, please copy and paste the following link:http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=692&participantID=32434.
If this cause is something you would like to learn more about please check out the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at www.afsp.org. Also, a place I have turned for great fellowship and support can be found at http://wholelifeliving.ning.com.
I’m so glad you made it through the darkness but sorry that you had to go through that. Its great that you are working and advocating for suicide prevention. We need more people like you who understand!
hello . ok it all started when i was 16 when i fell from a ladder and hurt my left hip. but doctors could not find a problem. but i new something very bad was wrong because after driving a forklift for more then 3 hours i would get of the forklift and my hip locks in to place and so does my back and i would have to walk around like a chicken for 20 - 30 minits and thay would free up. and when i sit for even longer and try to stand and walk the pain can get that bad it can make me passout. and i have been on and of depression tablet’s for 5 - 6 years because i dont think thay were helping much because the pain was still there. i have learnt to hid my true feelings inside because the people i have told did not understand. i try not to take pain killers to much because after i come of them the pain feels worse anyway if thay work at all. so now its been over 20 years and no doctor has been able to help me and thay have put me threw every scan at fremantle hospital and get x-rays and still cant find anything wrong and i go back ouce a years to have other doctors to look at it. i have even been to 4 - 5 specialsts but no won has been able to help me so it makes me fill like such a freak because no one can help me. i have tried about every treatment i can find but nothing seems to help much. i dont no what to do anymore because its getting worse and its getting harder to block those bad thorts out. like there is only one way to stop this pain for good is by taking my own life. i can handle the pain up till 75% witch is like crushing a thumb with a huldrolic press bone and all. and that dose not even come close to the pain i have been going threw every day.
There is hope, even in the times you feel that it is gone, there is always hope. I will pray for your pain relief and that you will find that hope, Scotty!